Word of the Week - Perseverance

I was kind of thinking about what words describe this past week and one pops into mind - PERSEVERANCE.

This is a word the person who married us gave us as we left for Kansas 6 days after our wedding ceramony. He said if there was one piece of advice he would give us it was to persevere. That was a God word in our relationship because it has proven to be what word best describes our relationship.

Dave and I have a relationship of ups and downs, ebbs and flows. We both have expectations for ourself and for the other person. When one of us is struggling with our own set of "issues" the expectations are not met and that can cause tension. Great tension at times. Usually it is me who gets so frustrated with Dave when he does not follow through because he is depressed but sometimes I am sure he gets frustrated with me. It is during those times that we must persevere - keep moving forward.

We are such different people which is probably what makes us right for each other. I am a planner and organizer while he flies by the seat of his pants. I like order and stability. He likes those things too but feels like he should be the provider of those things. When he cannot meet his expectation he feels like a failure. That little voice in his head has been screaming rather loudly lately. The thing is, only he can silence that voice. Nothing I say or anyone else says can silence that voice because it is something he has to do. It takes LOTS of work to listen to the truth instead of the lie. I know. I have been there - recently.

On the other side is me. I have been experiencing levels of anger lately. Anger over my job. Anger of my husband. Anger over a stupid car that we just poured money into but is basically ready for the junk yard. Anger of the miscarriage. The thinks I was sad over a few days ago have now turned into things I am angry about. I hate being angry. That isn't who I want to be but as I have posted before, emotions are there for a reason. In the past I would just stuff my anger. Bury it. This time I am allowing myself to feel that anger. It doesn't feel good but I think there is probably healing that comes with being willing to at least acknowledge the feelings. The feeling is there for a reason. On this side of heaven things aren't going to be fair. Things are going to happen. That is part of life. Sometimes it just feels like the stresses of life are burdensome and very heavy.

So, what is the next step in this journey? We must persevere. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other. We must acknowledge our feelings and present them to Christ. We must keep moving forward. It was very intersting that the Proverbs 31 ministries devotional was on a very similiar topic this morning. That is kind of like a note from God to me. I love it when he does that. It is like a love, tangable note. It says to me, "I heard your prayer this morning and I know your heart. You are not alone and it is okay to feel the way you do. This too shall pass and on the other side you will have the knowledge and experience to share with others. Besides, emotions are normal. They are part of life and something special I created. Your life is more complete when you allow yourself to feel all the feelings instead of just the "good" feelings. How would you understand how poeple feel that do allow themselves to experience emotions? Feelings create empathy and that is a powerful gift. That is how relationships are grown. You are a woman of relationships. That is one of the reasons I have created you. Embrace that gift."

So, we persevere not always because we want to but because it is the right thing to do in moving forward. It is the next right step.