Victory In Christ

So, it has been a little bit of a long night. I have slept, a little bit but for the most part, I have rested. In doing so, my mind shifts to God. I picture him holding me in his arms and loving on me. It is a sweet picture and one of my favorites.

In thinking about that, I began to think about what Victory in Christ means. To me, it means being a conquerer over tough times. It means freedom. It means relying on Christ, not myself to overcome obsticles. For example, not sleeping well is an obsticle. It means tomorrow will be a rough day but when I turn it into a competition, it becomes a time to be victorious. When I am really tired and trying to stay awake at work, I have to depend on God to keep my eyes open. Sometimes that means getting up and going for a walk. That means allowing the sun to bask on my face and that always makes me smile. Sometimes that means just walking around the office (if it is raining outside). Sometimes it means laying my head down on my desk and closing my eyes for a few minutes. Sometimes it means going into the bathroom and splashing some water on my face.

What it does not mean is to worry. Looking at this as a challenge can be tough. I think about the fact that Dave will be gone this weekend so it is just Will and me and the pups. Will I have the energy to take care of my responsibilities. On my own, probably not but when I cry out to Christ for help, he always leads me on the right path.

I have also come to a conclusion. It is time to deal with this anxiety. There is something that triggers it and when that emotion surfaces it scares me. After talking to a good friend who happens to be a nurse practitioner, we decided I shouldl go back on the meds but should get some counseling to deal with this. There is an underlying issue that I have not dealt with. That is what I want to get to the bottom of. I thought I had dealt with all my issues but there are definitely some still there. The victory is in discovering what is hindering me and presssing on with that knowledge. I feel there is so much more God wants to do with my life but I have to "deal" with this issue and I need some outside help. My friend gave me the name of a good counselor that she and her husband have gone to in the past. She is a Christian counselor and when I read her website I teared up. She is a nurse and a counselor. She has experience in dealing with all kinds of situations from eating disorders to post tramatic stress syndrome to everything in between and she counsels by sharing the love and gentleness of Christ with her counselees. I am so excited to get started and unpeel yet another layer of the onion.