And the Truth will Set you Free

So, remember my little situation from yesterday? Well, I decided to continue the confrontation streak. I decided to confront my co-workers to verify they were still okay with me working my hours since that was one of the gripes. They were. In fact, they were really surprised that was an issue. I did not want this to be a gossip session so I tried to steer the conversation in other directions but the feedback I received was helpful - stand up for yourself or she will walk all over you.

Honestly, my heart is all over the place on this one. On one side I feel great animosity towards her. I feel betrayed and stepped on. On the other side I feel like I just need to pray for her. She needs Jesus something terrible. She is hard as a rock but I know there is beauty inside, but no one is allowed to see it, most of all, not her. It will take Jesus to help her deal with those deeply buried issues. So, I pray. "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." The praying part is getting easier but the love your enemies part, that is tough. Ironically, the last message I heard at church was about perfect love driving out fear. And fear is what I often feel around this lady. A great sense of insecurity. Yuck! But I know God is working on me with that as well. I don't have to be a door mat to anyone, most of all a lady at work.

One lady at work, and I wish she hadn't said it in the group, said she aspired to be more like me. She did not expound but honestly, while I was flattered, I don't want to be on a pedestal because inevitably, I will fall off. It was flattering but something did not seem right about it. If she really knew what all went through my mind she might not want to be anything like me! Hopefully it is the god given gifts she is striving for. Maybe God is using me as a light in a very dark place. Maybe...