Word of the Week - Respect

I have been pondering this word for awhile. Not sure why I have to think about it at 2:00 am but that was what was on my mind this morning.

I looked it up in the dictionary and to respect someone means "to hold in esteem or honor" or "to show regard or consideration for." As a noun it means "esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability."

Dave told me the other day that he felt like deep inside, I did not respect him. I, of course, being the "perfect" little lady, was hurt that my husband felt this way. Instantly I wanted to throw into his face all the times and ways I have showed him respect. Thankfully, God stepped in an silenced my mouth. I said nothing.

The truth, as I looked deep inside my walled up self, I acknowledged that in some ways I do not respect him. As I prayed about this today, looking back, the way people gained respect was through their job. My dad taught me that. While I have always tried to detour from that idea, I think in the back of my mind it is there. Dave stays at home with Will and while that is an incredibly important job, society doesn't look at that very favorably.

God showed me an area of my life where I needed to ask forgiveness. I was judging my husband and setting expectations in my mind of who he needed to be for me. Pride was once again rearing its ugly head. Thankfully, God showed this to me very gently and affirmatively. He said, "my dear sweet little lady. You have been praying for wisdom, particularly in your marriage. Here is a little hint. Respect your husband for the man I have created him to be. Respect him for the challenges he is working through. Respect him because I respect him. I love that man so much. He is my son. Share in loving him with me."

You see, Dave is God's son before he is my husband. When we married he did not become my project. I was not his savior although I must admit, I think I married partly because I felt like he needed me. Again, pride rearing its ugly head in my life.

Thank you, Jesus, that you are revealing these little tidbits to me. Thank you for saving my marriage by showing me the lies I have believed for so long. My prayer is that my love for my husband will be authentic and sweet. I want to love Dave more now than I ever have before. I want to love him with Christ's love because Dave deserves that. Does he have his issues? Don't we all?

So, I step forward today.