I haven't posted anything new in awhile. Sometimes it is easier to post when life is tough. Why is that? Sometimes getting thoughts out on paper some how helps.
Life is so full of uncertainities. Sometimes I want to crawl into a ditch and just hide. Sometimes I get so angry and ask God, what is the deal. Regardless of what I do with my struggles I find myself in God's arms more often than not. Time and time again, when I take a few minutes to talk to God and tell him my thoughts and feelings all the sudden I feel so much better. I feel that peace that surpasses all understanding. I find myself still uncertain about the future but more confident that my small situation is part of the big picture.
Ironically, (naw, probably not ironically) I was reading a devotional this morning that said exactly what I was trying to say above. I love the Proverbs 31 devotionals because they are real. The authors don't sugar coat things. They say that life is tough, but, God is good. I read that verse yesterday in a doctor's office and did not realize it would follow me out the door. Thankfully, that idea has been on my heart and mind repeatedly throughout these past 24 hours.
I wish I could say that I love learning lessons but I would be lying. I love wisdom and I asked that God would give that to me but it is not an easy gift. It requires care and use. Even though I have wisdom, I still have free will. Sometimes those two characteristics battle it out in my heart. Sometimes I want to throw a fit and say, "but God, it's not fair!" And he replies, "life isn't fair but I am good and I am in control. Trust me."
That is good news.
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