My Best Friend

The image that came to mind tonight was Jesus choosing me for his team. He said, "Hey Em, I want you on my team. I want you to play for me. I believe you are the best one for the job I have prepared but I need to be your captain. I need to teach you and lead you. Apart from me, you will fall every time. The time requirement is minimal but very important. I need you to spend time with me every morning so that you are briefed on the upcomings for the day. I don't want you to go at this alone or be blind sided so you have to show up for the meetings. Excuses will only hurt you and prevent you from doing the best I have for you to do."

This seems simple enough so why is it so hard? Why do I have such a hard time committing to God? I can commit to my husband, my child and my friends. My most important relationship in this world should be with the "team captain." He is in charge of my team. He is incharge of the relationships in my life. He is in charge of my life. But boy do I struggle with this.

It is about a choice. Daily, I make lots of choices. When I give God a few minutes in the morning it affects the choices I make throughout the day in a positive way. I have noticed that my attitude towards people is different. I am not so short or quick to judge. When I don't spend that few minutes in the morning with God, not only do I suffer but so does those around me.

Pride kicks in. YUCK. It is dirty and heavy. While some pride is good, the kind of pride I experience when I "do it on my own" is dirty. There is no other word for it. I feel dusty and in need of good pledging. I love it when I dust (once in a blue moon - if even that often). It smells so clean an makes the room shine. That is what I am in need of and I get that every time I turn to God.

Turning to Christ is a special thing for me. He is so gentle with me and patient. He welcomes me with open arms every single time. All I have to say is "Lord, I have fallen away from you again. I need to be back in your presence because I need your guidence and direction" and as if I was never away he welcomes me back. He holds me in his arms as a daddy would hold his daughter and with a smile on his face says, "boy I am glad to have you home! I have missed you."

I hate to say it but this falling away happens often and that is where I come into the picture. I am weak but he is strong. Sometimes, often times, more often than I care to think about, I put on the "strong" hat. While I think I can wear it successfully for awhile it is only a short time before I realize, nope, apart from Christ I can do nothing.

So, I just happened to read the Daily Bread this morning already and low and behold, it was about Paul and his friend, Odeicious. Odecious had been up and down on a roller coaster ride with Christ. He was back where he needed to be with his relationship with Christ and had been called to be Paul's voice to the Philemons. As I read the scripture and brief devotional what I had been contemplating was confirmed. Sometimes we stray but Jesus always welcomes me back into the flock and daily teaches me about himself and how I can share that with others through actions alone. eventually I might get to use words but for the most part, my actions speak very loudly. People are always watching me to see how I will respond. I respond so much better when I have conferenced with Christ first!