VACATION!

So, we did it. We took our first airplane ride last night with Will. He did well. He did not sleep like I had hoped but oh well. That is not the first or the last time that I have not been able to control my son, nor do I really want to. I enjoy watching his little personality emerge. Daily he changes and grows and I want to give him as many experiences as I can without overwelming him. Anyway, he did well. He was a trooper. Dave and I were mostly relaxed with him. He slept mostly well last night but it is weird with him sleeping in the same room as us. He wakes up throughout the night and goes back to sleep without bothering us. Usually we don't hear him but when we are in the same room, we hear each other. Again, oh well.

The trade off is to live by a schedule that does not allow Dave and I to be who we are. We love to go and travel and visit with friends. That means Will's schedule is flexible. Honestly, he is okay with his schedule. It is me that struggles with it. What if he gets out of his routine so much that he forgets it and we have to start with square one? What if he is grouchy and it shows as a poor reflection on me because I am a bad mom who doesn't let her kiddo get enough sleep? What if he becomes a booger throughout the day because he is tired and crabby? The what if game, what a mess. It leaves me stressed but I have learned that answer the "What if" questions is great therapy for me. It reminds me of he truth of the various situations. Bottom line, God has blessed us with a good little boy who is flexible. God knew we would need that so he blessed us with that. Why do I worry about things I have no control over? Why do I give those "issues" that much time? Silly - very silly but I am learning.

Daily, I grow, emotionally. I mature. I long to be a woman whom others see as wise. However, is that something I can make happen? Again, a God-thing. He has put wise women in my life that help mold and shape my life. He has given me wisdom that only comes from him. He blesses me with confidence. He blesses me with experiences. He blesses me with opportunities to grow and change. God is so good. Without him, I would truly be a basket case on a regular basis, not just every once in awhile. God is soo good, yet so often I don't give him the time of day. Definitely something I need to work on.