Tonight after I had put Will to bed all of the sudden he cried out. I waited a couple of minutes and when he would not go back to sleep I went in, picked him up and rocked him. It was a special moment. He snuggled into my arms, sighed a deep breath and went back to sleep. Even once he was asleep I kept holding him, praising God for such a special little boy.
I have a hard time remembering what it was like before Will. The joy that was in my life was vague and came and went with the day. Since Will has been born he has filled my heart with joy. Whenever I look at him I think about the wonderful blessing he is in my life. His smiles, his fingers, his eyes, his gentle spirit - all gifts from the Master.
And then I my thoughts turn to God. If I love this little boy as much as I do and that is such a small portion of how much God loves me, he must love me an awful lot! He loves me more than I can imagine. He loves everything about me just like I love everything about Will. I even love his cries because it means he is breathing and alive. I love his laughs because his whole face lights up when he laughs. I love his cheeks and his belly that I get to zabert. Doing that makes him laugh. I love his giggles which he gives more freely every day. I love that he sleeps well - what a blessing. I love watching him interact with his Daddy. What an amazing little guy. I love him this much today, when he is only 5 months old. What kind of love will I feel for him in 5 more months or a year from now? It is a love I cannot imagine because I could not imagine that I would love this little guy as much as I do now. It is a feeling I cannot explain and even if I could, it is a feeling that is different for everyone.
And maybe that love is suppose to be different for everyone. Every person is different so it make sense that every person would give or receive love differently. Almost every night I pray that God will fill our home with love, joy and peace and that he would fill us with those gifts so that we can extend those to others. He has answered that pray and daily answers it more and more. God is so good to us.
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